01
The silent one
Proving the enquiry form still delivers
Send yourself one, from your own phone, and watch it arrive. Forms stop for ordinary reasons — an email address that changed, a mailbox that filled up, a spam filter that got stricter, a certificate that lapsed at the host — and not one of those announces itself.
How oftenOnce a month, and on the day anything about the site or the email changes.
If nobody does itSomebody chose you, took the trouble to write, and you never heard. From where you sit it looks exactly like nobody being interested, which is why this one runs for months.
02
The one that costs a job
Today's hours, including the awkward days
Regular hours are easy. It is Waitangi Day, Easter, the week between Christmas and New Year and the afternoon you shut early that go wrong, and they have to be right in two places at once — on the site and on the Google profile.
How oftenBefore every public holiday, and whenever the week changes shape.
If nobody does itThe site says open, the phone rings out, and that is the last you hear from that person. People take "closed" at its word and do not ring twice.
03
The awkward conversation
The prices on the page
If you publish a callout fee, an hourly rate or a starting price, it has a shelf life. The number on the page is the one you were quoting the year before last, because putting a new one up was a ten-minute job that never had a deadline.
How oftenThe same week the price changes, which for most businesses is once or twice a year.
If nobody does itEvery call opens with you explaining the difference before anybody has described the job, and you start the conversation sounding either dearer or less organised than you are.
04
The one off the website
Keeping the Google profile fed
Not part of your website, and for a local business usually doing more of the selling than the site is. It wants photographs, hours, services, posts and answers to the questions people ask on it, and it notices when it stops getting them.
How oftenMonthly is plenty. Twice a year is not.
If nobody does itA profile that has stopped being fed looks abandoned beside one that has not, and the one beside you belongs to a competitor. It is also the half of your presence most people see instead of the site.
05
The one that compounds
Reviews asked for, and answered
Something about reviews — too few, too old, or answered badly — is the most common reason people give for not ringing a local business at all, and it beats price by a distance. It is also the only item on this list that cannot be bought.
How oftenAt the end of every finished job, which is the only moment it works.
If nobody does itEvery job you finish without asking is one you do not get back. Nothing else here accumulates like this, in either direction.
06
The invisible work
New services and new areas put up
The work you started taking last winter. The suburb you now drive to. It is real, it is being done, and the website still describes the business you were running two years ago, which is the version search engines are still showing people.
How oftenAs it happens, rather than in a catch-up next winter.
If nobody does itThe people searching for exactly that job, in exactly that place, never find you doing it — and you never see the enquiry you did not get, so nothing tells you it is costing anything.
07
The dated one
Photographs replaced
The van has been resprayed, somebody has left, somebody has started, and the most recent job on there is from the year before last. Your own phone has better photographs on it this week than the ones currently doing the selling.
How oftenA few times a year, and it takes about ninety seconds a photograph.
If nobody does itNothing breaks. The site just reads as older than the business, and photographs are the first thing anybody actually looks at.
08
Fails silently
The certificate that makes the padlock
The thing that keeps the address on https and the browser quiet. It renews itself automatically almost everywhere, right up until the automatic renewal stops working, which happens for dull reasons nobody is watching for.
How oftenNothing to do while it works. Somebody has to notice the week it does not.
If nobody does itThe browser puts a full-page warning in front of your website, and nobody rings to tell you. The form in row 01 usually stops at the same moment.
09
Fails silently
The platform and the pieces underneath it
Whatever the site is built on, and whatever plugs into it, keeps moving. Updates arrive, something that worked last month stops agreeing with something else, and a page or a form quietly stops behaving the way it did.
How oftenMonthly, and checked after rather than assumed to have gone fine.
If nobody does itIt does not fall over. It degrades, in one corner at a time, and the day you find out is the day a customer tells you — or the day row 01 has been failing for a quarter.
10
Fails silently
A backup somebody has actually restored
Most hosting takes backups. Far fewer people have ever put one back, and an untested backup is a belief rather than a backup. The test is the whole job: restore it somewhere harmless and look at what comes out.
How oftenTaken continuously, proved at least a few times a year.
If nobody does itYou find out what the backups were worth on the one day it matters, and the answer arrives too late to do anything about.
11
Fails silently
Somebody to ring when it is down
Not a job so much as an arrangement. The site is off on a Saturday morning, or the email has stopped, and the question is whether there is a number that gets answered and somebody who already knows how the thing is put together.
How oftenAlmost never, and then urgently.
If nobody does itYou spend a weekend finding out who hosts your own website. The person who built it has a new job, the login is on a laptop that died, and the outage lasts as long as the search does.
12
The one that decides the rest
Logins that still work, in your name
Open each one — the domain, the hosting, the site itself, the Google profile, the email — and prove you can still get in. It takes a quarter of an hour and it is the only job on this list that makes the other eleven possible.
How oftenOnce a year, and the week anybody involved in the site changes.
If nobody does itEvery free fix below assumes you can make a change. If you cannot get in, somebody else has already decided what your options are. That is a page of its own.
Eight of those twelve are twenty minutes of your own time a month and need nobody. Four of them — rows 08 to 11 — are the ones that fail without telling anybody, and they are the actual argument for paying somebody. That is the division the rest of this page is built on, and it is in that order on purpose: the eight you should keep come first.